Throughout my short 21 years of life, I’ve come to the realization that there are a lot of fake things in this world. Fake pictures, fake news, fake results and the worst of them all- fake people. That’s likely because it is so hard to be “original” seeing that often, someone has done it before. How then do we become authentic? In this blog post I want to share with you a little bit more about my personal quest for authenticity.
I believe when talking about certain qualities, like authenticity, it is important to have the same understanding of the definition of the quality in question. So, for the sake of this situation, I’m going to be working with the following definition:
“Authentic: Adjective: not false or imitation : REAL, ACTUAL, : true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character”
Merriam-Webster
The part of this definition I particularly like is the part that says in order to be authentic, there can’t be any imitation. No copies, no look-a-likes. In a world full of fake things and copies, wouldn’t it be so much nicer to be authentically you? Here are just a few things I’ve learned that have helped me become more authentic.
Perfectly Imperfect- Authenticity through Honesty
First and foremost, I believe in order to be authentic, to be real, you have to be honest. I remember my Freshman year of college I was really having a difficult time adjusting. Getting to school, being away from home, missing friends and family, and feeling utterly alone didn’t help. After a particularly difficult day, I walked on to my dorm floor and ran into a friend of mine. She asked me how I was doing and my first inclination was to respond with “I’m fine.”
Do you know how much saying “I’m fine,” when you really aren’t, is helpful? Let me enlighten you.
It’s not.
When we suppress how we are really feeling and give some perfunctory response, we are hurting ourselves more and moving us further away from authenticity.
So, after having someone tell me this fact and doing my best to fight against that inclination, I responded differently. I told this friend of mine that actually, I was really struggling. I was missing home and having an incredibly difficult time with one of my Biology classes. This friend smiled and told me it would get better eventually.
This became one of my new practices- seeking to answer people honestly when asked how I was doing.
*Also hey, side note, college is HARD. Especially first semester. Check out my blog post here to see what things to pack!
Truth on Social Media
Ok, I’ll admit to using them too, but WOW there are so many filters on Instagram! And while I think sometimes they can be fun to use, they also promote a normalcy in fabricating or falsifying the truth. This can lead social media users to fall down the comparison trap.
“Why don’t I look like her?” “His biceps are twice my size” “Gosh I wish I lived their life.”
The problem with the comparison game is that sadly, as if normal comparison isn’t bad enough, most comparison on social media is comparison to a fake reality. We compare ourselves to something that isn’t even achievable without technology.
So, what should we do instead? I’m not suggesting that you never ever use any kind of filter on a picture or post ever again. Not at all. But what I am suggesting is that you remember that most things we see online are altered or changed in some way. Next time you start comparing yourself to someone else, remember that you’re comparing yourself to something you can’t even achieve.
Also, I’d encourage you to post real or unaltered pictures. Or at the very least, don’t distort what you put on the internet so much so that it strays far from reality. These little steps can help us become more authentic online.
Authentically You and Authentically Them
Something else to remember in the quest for authenticity is to be unashamedly you. If you have likes or dislikes that vary from someone else, so what? Embrace what makes you you! If you enjoy alternative music tastes, turn up your radio more! When you come across people who think differently than you, embrace your opinions and views- don’t change them just to “fit in” or “go with the flow.” If you drink tea instead of coffee, drink coffee! (ok ok I’m just kidding on that one! But yes, I like coffee more than tea and I’m not ashamed to admit it!)
If everyone tried to be like everyone else, we’d be living in a horribly boring world. What makes life interesting is the differences and unique things that make us, us. In order to avoid being fake, we have to be comfortable standing up for what we believe, what we like, what we agree with, what we enjoy- even if it differs from someone else.
The key with this though too is to allow other people to do the same, even if they differ from you. Let’s embrace the differences because otherwise we’ll perpetuate the world of fakes!
Authenticity breeds more Authenticity
Remember that friend I mentioned earlier? The one who asked me how I was doing? Well, a few weeks later following our conversation, that friend came up to me. She thanked me for being honest with her. Taken aback slightly, I asked her what she meant. She went on to explain that when I was honest with her and told her how I was truly doing, she was encouraged to be honest with others when asked how she was doing.
Me being open with her helped her see that it was ok to be open too. This right here is the power of authenticity. When we are committed to truth and the quest for authenticity, we promote a healthy form of not only personal growth, but even growth in those around us.
So, if you’re looking for a little nudge to forego the filter and be honest with others, here’s your nudge!
Let’s do what we can to promote authenticity in a world full of fakes.
Hugs,
